Waiting For Perfect You

Life is sometimes confusing. We go through our daily routine, and we do not feel all that special about ‘us’. We seem to have missed out on the charisma someone we know has. We missed out when they were giving out the ‘be funny’ package.

Then it gets worse. We look at ourselves and we see all these defects about us. We see ourselves as too large. Perhaps we see ourselves as too small. Our hair is funny, or our nose is wrong.

The list we make of ourself continues to grow over the years until it seems to fill many pages. No wonder we are not more popular, funny, creative, or happy. How can we be with all the flaws that fill our life.

There is one item of good news about all our faults however. In fact there are several pieces of good news about us that we do not realize. The best and greatest good news about us, is this: We are unique, one of kind, the only us. We are the person, the myth, the legend of US.

I can read your thoughts in the instant. You are thinking this is all well and good, but it does not apply to me. I’m feeling a little argumentative in the moment, and it I say it does apply to you, and to you alone!

Everything flaw on the list you keep about yourself is not important. Every detail lacking in your personality and being is perfect. You should believe this because it is true. If any little part of you were to change, you would not be you any longer. You would be someone else.

Before trying to be someone different, try being yourself

Before trying to be someone different, try being yourself

If you have ever tried acting, pretending to be someone else, it is hard work. I once tried to be someone else, because I was not too happy with who I thought I was. I found after an hour or two it was hard work. It was much easier to be me.

The uniqueness of you is what makes the world a magical place! I want to be around and talk with people not like me. I am plain and boring. When I am myself, and forget about me, I find people actually like me. People enjoy my company and sense of humor.

In these moments, I realize, that all my flaws added together make a wonderful me. If it is true for me, it is also true for you. Everything on the list you keep in your head about what is wrong with you, work together to make a perfect, wonderful you!

When your parents tell you how proud of you they are, and how much they love you, they are not reading from some parents manual. Your parents tell you this because it is true. They know you better than anyone, and they know how all your minor flaws and defects make one awesome package of a person who just happens to be you!

When you go about your day, instead of trying to fit in, and trying to be someone you really are not, relax and be yourself. Those people who you find yourself hanging around with and sharing your life with will surprise you.

They won’t see someone with all the flaws and defect you see in yourself. They see someone they enjoy being around, and if they would let themselves admit it, they wish they could be a little bit like your themselves.

Culture or Gender Thinking

I partook in an interesting informal discussion on culture and gender and how it effects our view of ourselves and our world. Afterward I took an informal straw poll. Now my views have changed on why we do what we do when it comes to our gender and culture.

The discussion question was, “Do you think of yourself as your culture first or do you think of yourself as a Woman/Man first?”

On the surface the question seems pretty simple. I was of the opinion that everyone would think of themselves as gender first and culture second. It made sense to me, starting with you and moving out to the world view. What I failed to understand is we are so intertwined in our culture, our culture is is. It is not really all that clear however.

Some people thought of themselves as their culture then gender. Other people thought of themselves as gender then culture. Why this happened in my small informal survey also surprised me.

It appears parental influence, age, and geography play a large part in how we see ourselves and our culture. I found several main differences that set each of us apart from one another once we are away from our home.

If we were raised in a traditional family setting for our culture, and others we have contact with are too, we are more likely to see ourselves as culture first, followed by gender. In many traditional families, gender roles are clearly defined and rarely crossed. The Women tend the home, while the men bring home the money. To someone raised in this type of environment without outside influences, culture and gender are the same thing.

If we live in a rural setting where big city values and culture does not effect us, we are more like to see ourselves as culture and then gender. For example, we may live in a section where our culture is very strong in a big city, so city values have only a minor impact on us. We may be aware that other people like us live in other places differently, but this is how we are.

If we come from a family that has moved from place to place, and perhaps both parents worked, we see ourselves differently again. Other influences that interrupted or disrupted our family structure. We adapted as we changes geography. We are now more likely to see ourselves as gender first and culture second. For example if both Mom and Dad work(ed) outside the home, we are open to the idea that we and our spouse will work outside the home.

Different Cultures

Culture and Gender shape our world and our place in it

Age plays a large role in how we see gender and culture in our world. The older we are, the more likely we are to have lived in a traditional family where Father worked and Mother ran the household. The older we become the less willing we are to change or conform to new ideas. That wasn’t how it was done when we were kids…. We become not so silent rebels.

When I think of situations that previously made little sense to me, it is now easier to understand why this behavior happens. How we perceive our world determines whether culture is first or gender is first. Culture has no gender and between culture and gender, culture binds the largest number of people together.

When I now think of these situations, I understand this is a culture of people who felt they are wronged in some manner. Whether they were male or female is not a concern. They are acting through their cultural beliefs.