It Is About You Now, not what someone thought of you once

I am going to intrude upon your life, and you probably will not like it. It may make you angry in fact. Let me apologize in advance for being critically of your life. Perhaps I should tell why I know what I know about you and your life. I know these things because what I am about to write are reflections of my life.

When I see you walking by you try to be small, maybe invisible. You look afraid of me. You prefer I did not acknowledge you or talk to you, but really you want to be noticed and talked to. Family, friends and strangers have hurt you in your past by words or deed. You do not want to be hurt again, it is easier to go unnoticed.

You would rather not talk to people outside of your inner circle. Those people who do not say or do things that hurt. You would like to be more popular, but it is scary. You would like to be more athletic, but you were born clumsy. You would like to be witty, but you aren’t.

You feel lonely and cut off sometime. You would like to have close friends. You would like to have a good marriage, a good life, and feel like life is work. You would like to change your appearance a bit, or your personality. I notice this about you because these are mannerisms you display as you walk by. I want jump when you get close and shout, BOO!!, but it would scare you, and you wouldn’t think it is funny.

When I talk with you, you tell me stories of your life. Most of these stories are of the negative sort. You want to lose weight, but you do not seem able to lose weight. You would like another job, though another job has not happened yet. You want a happier life, but haven’t found it yet.

As I listen to your litany of things you cannot do, I wonder what it is you can do. You keep on painting a pictures of let down, and almost. You have so much going on in your life, which you never mention.

Almost without exception, everyone you talk to, walk by shares these same thoughts. Like attracts like, and we all wear what we see as our faults on the outside for the world to see. We are walking billboards and advertisements of what is wrong with us.

It is time to give yourself permission to let these beliefs and feelings go. These feelings and beliefs are not you, they were placed on you by others.

Remember back when you were little? You did not know you had faults. You didn’t know what a fault was. You didn’t know you were shy, overweight, ugly, clumsy, loud, plain. or any of the other labels you have come to think you are. All you knew was you were awake, and this is a fun place to be.

Take ten minutes of your day tomorrow and play a game with yourself. No one will know you are playing a game except you. Take ten minutes after waking, before you leave and do this one thing. For a ten minutes tell yourself that you are all the things which you think you are not.

Fill ten minutes after waking with positives, whether you believe what you are telling yourself or not does not matter.  Say affirmations such as: “I am a great person, I am happy, I am special, I am perfect. I am smart, I am talented, I am funny, I am perfect. I can do anything, Everyone likes me.”

Feel free to add those things which I did not mention that you really keep secret. Give yourself permission to let them go. This can be somewhat awkward when starting out, so if you do not make twenty minutes, go as long as you can.

As you go through your day, remind yourself what you told yourself. Pay attention to how people respond to you. People will try to catch your eye. They smile when they see you. Strangers greet you. Maybe even find a reason to touch you.

Maybe what will happen around you will be a little less dramatic. However one thing is for sure, people will react differently towards you because you are showing people a different side of yourself.

Whether these things you told yourself are true or not, whether you believe them or not, it doesn’t matter. Your brain and other people’s brain for the most part does not know the difference. People who cross your path will want to know you, be like you. Your life will change for the better almost immediately.

If you do this one little thing every day, life will not be perfect in ten minutes, a day, or a week. The bluebird of happiness will still occasionally rain on your parade. Your life will change slowly, a little each day. Over a few weeks, those old negative ideas of you will be replaced by new truths of you. Your life will become a fun place to be.

No one you see or know if perfect. If they were actresses and actors would not spend tens of thousands to fix some little part of themselves only they see as a fault within them. Everybody has faults. There is a dating saying, “No matter how perfect they look and act, someone became tired of them.” What that means, is no matter how someone looks or acts, they have their share of faults, just like you and me.

We will never shed our faults and become perfect. No one else will either. If you can find twenty faults in you, there are at least that many faults in other people. Let go of your faults, and focus on the hundreds of great parts of you.

Release the weight of over focusing on your perceived faults, everyone has faults. Let the pounds of extra baggage go, you need your hands to do more important things. This is your life, not another persons idea of you. Let go of those petty, mean nothing faults and focus on the real you, the fun you, the best of you.

Let’s Practice Healthy Public Restroom Behavior

Public Restroom - semi clean

Let’s keep our public toilets usable and open

I have been spun up about this subject for years now. It is one of those subjects the “Experts” say never to post. Seeing this is not a monetary blog, I am breaking the ‘rules’. I know if you are a normal male, it bugs you too.

In Public Restrooms, this is what some of us men and their male children do, thinking it is their right

Men and their children peeing on the toilet seats because they won’t lift the seats up.
Men and their children leaving their business in the bowl waiting for the next user

Men and their children who spray their waste around the toilet stall

Men and Boys who think plugging up toilets and flush flooding is funny

I am tired of Men and Boys, who like dogs, feel the need to territorially mark Public Restrooms with their bodily waste

I said it, its out in the open now. One of our darkest male secrets is something we would never do in our own home. A few of us Men have filthy habits. No thoughts of the privileges of a public bathroom because other Men and Boys are responsible restroom users, and do not make a mess.

Public Restrooms are not a right. Public Restrooms do not have cleaning crews waiting for us Men and Boys to trash their Restroom. Waiting in the back room waiting to rush in and clean up after us.

Public Restrooms are a courtesy of the business providing them. The business proving public restrooms can revoke the courtesy as they choose. It is easier than enforcing dress codes in their store. No explanation or reason needed.

For Men and Boys who make messes in public restrooms should  think about their actions. Your front porch, lawn, and rooms in your home are your personal territory. Mark them all you wish if you are the owner. Public Restrooms are not a space any rational male should want to claim as his. If you feel the urge to mark up a public restroom as your personal property, I suggest getting some help with your self esteem.

I do not want to go into a place of business and find the Public Restroom doors locked and a sign stating no public restrooms available. This is not generally a pleasant situation when it occurs. Let’s work on protecting this privilege some do not have.

Treat all public property as if it is your own property by taking care of it. It will help lower prices in the store. Have some respect for the people who have to clean up after you. Be courteous to them as they are to you, giving you a free relatively clean place to do your private business away from home.