New Year’s Coming

It is almost the beginning of a new year, and you may be starting to think about the list of changes you want to make in your life? It is not such an easy thing. You can create several lists full of good changes. You can take the best from each of your lists and make a master list. Or you can do a seat of the pants list and write down the first ideas you think of.
Most of our resolution lists have to do with events external to us. Lose weight and exercise more. Stop doing something, and learn something else. Find a way to get ahead in our job, or maybe even find a new job. Get some training or take a class or two that will help us in the future.

Somewhere along the line the ghosts of past resolution lists make themselves known. We remember those things we were sure we were going to do. Somehow they all slipped away into the ether with our other good intentions.

Make time for you this year and do what makes you happy!

The reason these lists of changes we create and rarely stick to is simple. The changes we make and sometimes create usually have nothing to do with us! They have more to do with people around us. This is why most resolutions do not last or come to pass.
It is okay to have that pie in the sky resolution. I have a few, and I think everyone should have at least one. Writing down a list of unrealistic goals however is making of a forgotten list. When you compile or recompile your list of resolutions, make them worthwhile meaningful resolutions about you. Being yourself is more satisfying than living the way others think you should.

Here is a general list of worthwhile resolutions followed by what they could mean for you:

 I will be truthful to me.

I will learn what “I” believe in, and why I believe it.

I will eat more of the foods I really enjoy rather than easy foods I do not care for.

I will make more time for me.

I will create positive differences in my life, and lives of others along the way.

I will appreciate who I am and what I have.

As funny as it sounds, most of us lie to ourselves. We ignore things about ourselves we would rather not think about. We often do things we deep down do not want to do. When was the last time you were truthful with yourself?

What do you really believe and why do you believe it? Do you believe what you do because your parents raised you to believe this way?  Whatever your belief system is, it will always feel a little artificial until you dissect it, rebuild it and make it your own.

Eating better does not mean giving up foods you really like. There are more ways to enjoy cheese than on a slice of pizza. Does the food you are eating really good or are you simply go through the motions of eating?

I am going to change those things I can change. I am going to look at my life and see where I am spending time doing things I prefer not to be do.

Think about what you can do that makes you feel good. Giving change to a shiftless panhandler doesn’t feel all that good, nor does it change anything. Do what makes you feel good, and you help others in the process.

What does my life mean to me? Am I happy with what I have? Is it because I feel I do not have enough? If you aren’t happy with what you have, sell it all and buy the biggest thing you can afford that makes you happy.

Your life is yours to live as you wish. You are the captain of your ship.  Do not live to please other people unless this is something you enjoy doing. Don’t be miserable again this year. This year, learn to be yourself and please yourself. Then your life will feel good, and you will be happy.

Improving the New Year You

I am taking a different slant on my New Years resolutions this year. After all these years, I finally realize I am who I am. All the resolutions and changes over the years have not changed Me. I have my faults, many of them. I also have my talents, many of them.

It has become obvious over the time, no matter what I do, my faults are still here. So are my many talents. If you take a good look at yourself, you will find the same thing. You can change your looks to some extent. You can pretend to be someone different, and try to act like them.

In the end you are who you are. The real you comes through each and every day. Instead of trying to be something we are not, the time has come to be more of who we are. Instead of working on some boring changes which never last, it is time to work on improvements of things about us we can do even better.

Take a few moments and write down what you perceive are some of your obvious faults. This list is pretty easy. Now, on a separate piece of paper, or open a new document. Take a longer time and write down those things you do better than anyone else you know. Stop when you have identified three to five items. Your list may take seconds or it may take longer. Time is not important, this is not a timed event.

Throw away or delete the list of your faults. Your list of perceived faults is going to be with you the rest of your life. That is the way life is. A leopard can not change its spots, and we can not permanently change who we are. Nor should we want to.

Now you should only be looking at your list of items you are good at. These are what you and I will be working on over the next year. Decide which of the items on this list you enjoy the most. This is our first priority of the New Year.

Do some creative thinking about how you can do this one thing better. How can you change or modify what you do well and do it even better? It should be fairly easy to come up with a short list of ways to improve what you do well.

Once you have a list of how to do your number one choice even better, do the same with your remaining items. Draw up a short list of how you can do these things even better.

Make what you do well better instead of trying to change into someone else.

Do what you do well better instead of failing to change yourself into someone else.

This idea make me excited! I hope it makes you excited too? Instead of trying to fix something that I think is wrong with me, or wrong in my life, I am going to work on making what I enjoy about me even better!

Is it making sense? I have found, every New Years, I have made some resolutions. Maybe go to the gym more. Do a better job at my work. Clean out my closet, and keep it clean. We both know these resolutions turn out to be boring and they do not work. I quit trying to do boring things! I am going to work on doing things I enjoy, learning how to do them better!

Now, for your part. Work on your list of things you do well, and your ideas on how to do them better. Doing this is a lot more fun than starting another year with another list of resolutions you give up on in a month or so, because they are boring. You will not spend the rest of the year thinking about how you failed at something you really did not want to do to start with.

You did not fail to complete last years resolutions. You did what is natural. They were boring and they were not about you. They were about someone you thought you should change yourself into. You are not that person. You are you! Stop now and reread this post. Start making your list of things you do well. Write down your thoughts on how to do those things better.

Without even trying, you will find yourself getting excited about your list. You will find you are excited about the changes you want to make. This is about you and who you are. Not some silly idea of changing into who you think you should be. That person will never exist, no matter how hard you try.

Keep notes on your progress, and let me know how you are doing. I want to hear about you becoming better at being you! Happy New Year! Happy You!

What New Years Resolutions

New Years resolutions we have made. So what do we go now as they are starting to slip away? Has anyone resolved there resolutions in a manner that accomplishes long term change? Somewhat typical resolutions may be:

1. Eat less sweets

2. Be more polite

3. Exercise more

We mean well when we make our resolutions. We intend to follow each and every resolution. Weeks one, two, and three go by and we are holding our own. We are keeping up with our resolutions. We are making positive difference in our life.

Then life starts to get in the way. Change happens. Change happens whether we want to change or not. Our New Year resolutions are starting to slip. Little by little different areas of focus are entering our life. Our family, friends, and work are starting to demand we pay attention to them too.

Door Number?

New Years Resolution Blues

We are entering the danger zone of New Years Resolutions. All our good intentions and hopes for the coming year are starting to fade. Are we destined to fail once again as our resolutions slowly move to the back burner of our life.

Lucky for you, it does not have to be that way. You can reactivate your fading resolutions by becoming proactive with them. The problem with resolutions is they are often made with no support net in place. Instead of holding to our resolutions, they start falling into the abyss of things ignored.

Which means it is decision time. Do you want to salvage and hold yourself to your resolutions, or do you want to let them fade away? If you want to revive and keep your resolutions alive, help is at hand.

When we resolve to do something, we are serious in the moment. Moments are pieces of time, and new moments arrive faster than we would like sometime. What is missing from our resolutions is structure. We need structure in our resolutions to be successful.

Think of your number one resolution. This resolution certainly sounded good when we made it. Now it feels a little distant, and we feel a little lost. We need a plan. A resolution without a plan is a hard thing to keep alive. Finding alternative structure and removing temptation are keys to success.

Go through your New Years Resolutions and come up with a real plan for each one. How are you going to let them succeed? How will you keep them active and alive? Make it easy to follow your resolution by not having to remember after the fact. Get proactive. Once you get proactive, you will find it easy to make more changes in your life.