The whole world seems to be looking at Paula Dean. Paula Dean’s problem is she was taken to task for what she said in private. The world is full of Paula Dean’s. They are made up of people of every race and color. In Paula’s case, someone wanted to punish her for their own reasons, and Paula Dean allowed herself to be vulnerable using her private language.
Too many of us have two separate vocabularies. One language we use when we are around people we feel safe with, and a second language we use when we are in public and strangers can overhear us. An example is attending a minority viewpoint political rally. You know the one some of us would like to attend but won’t because we know deep down it’s wrong?
Pretend you are going to one. Make it whatever cause you personally would not feel comfortable going to because of what the rally members stand for. The rhetoric you will hear is public rhetoric. Words strung together to show the world they are really good people who’s beliefs are not quite main stream.
What is heard publicly is not the language and raw expression used among the inner circle of the trusted ones. That other language is course, and demeaning in every respect. If these splinter groups thought they could do it, you would hear what they really think, but it won’t happen in public.
Some time ago, I was asked by a little boy as his parents looked on in horror, “…if I was a, ‘real white man’. The little boy said he had never seen one close up before and did was not sure if I was a ‘real white man’, or not. His parents were of course were beyond embarrassed. It was obvious they used two sets of language, their private language, and their public language. The little boy of course, was not old enough to know the difference, and crossed a line his parents would have rather avoided.
While the rest of the world is blasting away at Paula Dean because her private language has been made public, take the time to look a little closer to home. Do you use or do you allow people in your life to speak two languages? A private language and a public language?
Paula Dean is an old semi racist woman who was found out. That is what she was raised to believe, and that is how she will probably die. Her time on earth is limited, and she and those like her will fade away over the next years. You and your friends on the other hand are young. Every day influencing and reinforcing your inner circle of friends and family with language and thought each and every day.
We must drop our behind closed door language and start speaking with respect to those not like us publicly and privately. Whether they are different because of their skin color, sexual, religious, or personal beliefs, they are us. We are a floating little blue marble in a huge ocean of nothingness. Yet we continue to think there are other choices than getting along without accepting each other.
Differences between people is good for us. We get bored with ourselves. We can’t compare ourselves to ourselves, we need someone else. Other people help make life fun, and interesting. Of course we have to be fun and interesting ourselves and we can’t be fun until we drop the pretense of being a different better.
Anyone who has a public and private set of words they use is really a pretty boring person. They are a one trick pony and can not see past their own nose. Their conversation is rarely spontaneous and very controlled. They can’t fool anyone for long about who they really are. Don’t be one of those boring people.