Waiting For Perfect You

Life is sometimes confusing. We go through our daily routine, and we do not feel all that special about ‘us’. We seem to have missed out on the charisma someone we know has. We missed out when they were giving out the ‘be funny’ package.

Then it gets worse. We look at ourselves and we see all these defects about us. We see ourselves as too large. Perhaps we see ourselves as too small. Our hair is funny, or our nose is wrong.

The list we make of ourself continues to grow over the years until it seems to fill many pages. No wonder we are not more popular, funny, creative, or happy. How can we be with all the flaws that fill our life.

There is one item of good news about all our faults however. In fact there are several pieces of good news about us that we do not realize. The best and greatest good news about us, is this: We are unique, one of kind, the only us. We are the person, the myth, the legend of US.

I can read your thoughts in the instant. You are thinking this is all well and good, but it does not apply to me. I’m feeling a little argumentative in the moment, and it I say it does apply to you, and to you alone!

Everything flaw on the list you keep about yourself is not important. Every detail lacking in your personality and being is perfect. You should believe this because it is true. If any little part of you were to change, you would not be you any longer. You would be someone else.

Before trying to be someone different, try being yourself

Before trying to be someone different, try being yourself

If you have ever tried acting, pretending to be someone else, it is hard work. I once tried to be someone else, because I was not too happy with who I thought I was. I found after an hour or two it was hard work. It was much easier to be me.

The uniqueness of you is what makes the world a magical place! I want to be around and talk with people not like me. I am plain and boring. When I am myself, and forget about me, I find people actually like me. People enjoy my company and sense of humor.

In these moments, I realize, that all my flaws added together make a wonderful me. If it is true for me, it is also true for you. Everything on the list you keep in your head about what is wrong with you, work together to make a perfect, wonderful you!

When your parents tell you how proud of you they are, and how much they love you, they are not reading from some parents manual. Your parents tell you this because it is true. They know you better than anyone, and they know how all your minor flaws and defects make one awesome package of a person who just happens to be you!

When you go about your day, instead of trying to fit in, and trying to be someone you really are not, relax and be yourself. Those people who you find yourself hanging around with and sharing your life with will surprise you.

They won’t see someone with all the flaws and defect you see in yourself. They see someone they enjoy being around, and if they would let themselves admit it, they wish they could be a little bit like your themselves.

It Is About You Now, not what someone thought of you once

I am going to intrude upon your life, and you probably will not like it. It may make you angry in fact. Let me apologize in advance for being critically of your life. Perhaps I should tell why I know what I know about you and your life. I know these things because what I am about to write are reflections of my life.

When I see you walking by you try to be small, maybe invisible. You look afraid of me. You prefer I did not acknowledge you or talk to you, but really you want to be noticed and talked to. Family, friends and strangers have hurt you in your past by words or deed. You do not want to be hurt again, it is easier to go unnoticed.

You would rather not talk to people outside of your inner circle. Those people who do not say or do things that hurt. You would like to be more popular, but it is scary. You would like to be more athletic, but you were born clumsy. You would like to be witty, but you aren’t.

You feel lonely and cut off sometime. You would like to have close friends. You would like to have a good marriage, a good life, and feel like life is work. You would like to change your appearance a bit, or your personality. I notice this about you because these are mannerisms you display as you walk by. I want jump when you get close and shout, BOO!!, but it would scare you, and you wouldn’t think it is funny.

When I talk with you, you tell me stories of your life. Most of these stories are of the negative sort. You want to lose weight, but you do not seem able to lose weight. You would like another job, though another job has not happened yet. You want a happier life, but haven’t found it yet.

As I listen to your litany of things you cannot do, I wonder what it is you can do. You keep on painting a pictures of let down, and almost. You have so much going on in your life, which you never mention.

Almost without exception, everyone you talk to, walk by shares these same thoughts. Like attracts like, and we all wear what we see as our faults on the outside for the world to see. We are walking billboards and advertisements of what is wrong with us.

It is time to give yourself permission to let these beliefs and feelings go. These feelings and beliefs are not you, they were placed on you by others.

Remember back when you were little? You did not know you had faults. You didn’t know what a fault was. You didn’t know you were shy, overweight, ugly, clumsy, loud, plain. or any of the other labels you have come to think you are. All you knew was you were awake, and this is a fun place to be.

Take ten minutes of your day tomorrow and play a game with yourself. No one will know you are playing a game except you. Take ten minutes after waking, before you leave and do this one thing. For a ten minutes tell yourself that you are all the things which you think you are not.

Fill ten minutes after waking with positives, whether you believe what you are telling yourself or not does not matter.  Say affirmations such as: “I am a great person, I am happy, I am special, I am perfect. I am smart, I am talented, I am funny, I am perfect. I can do anything, Everyone likes me.”

Feel free to add those things which I did not mention that you really keep secret. Give yourself permission to let them go. This can be somewhat awkward when starting out, so if you do not make twenty minutes, go as long as you can.

As you go through your day, remind yourself what you told yourself. Pay attention to how people respond to you. People will try to catch your eye. They smile when they see you. Strangers greet you. Maybe even find a reason to touch you.

Maybe what will happen around you will be a little less dramatic. However one thing is for sure, people will react differently towards you because you are showing people a different side of yourself.

Whether these things you told yourself are true or not, whether you believe them or not, it doesn’t matter. Your brain and other people’s brain for the most part does not know the difference. People who cross your path will want to know you, be like you. Your life will change for the better almost immediately.

If you do this one little thing every day, life will not be perfect in ten minutes, a day, or a week. The bluebird of happiness will still occasionally rain on your parade. Your life will change slowly, a little each day. Over a few weeks, those old negative ideas of you will be replaced by new truths of you. Your life will become a fun place to be.

No one you see or know if perfect. If they were actresses and actors would not spend tens of thousands to fix some little part of themselves only they see as a fault within them. Everybody has faults. There is a dating saying, “No matter how perfect they look and act, someone became tired of them.” What that means, is no matter how someone looks or acts, they have their share of faults, just like you and me.

We will never shed our faults and become perfect. No one else will either. If you can find twenty faults in you, there are at least that many faults in other people. Let go of your faults, and focus on the hundreds of great parts of you.

Release the weight of over focusing on your perceived faults, everyone has faults. Let the pounds of extra baggage go, you need your hands to do more important things. This is your life, not another persons idea of you. Let go of those petty, mean nothing faults and focus on the real you, the fun you, the best of you.