An interesting discussion tonight where I seemed to be on the minority side. I thought it was a thought provoking subject, and really cuts to the quick of how much we each would be willing to do for our dying spouse.
Here is the capsule version of the discussion that occurred. The couple are both over sixty-five years old. The husband has several serious health issues including cancer, and will probably die of cancer within a few years.
The husband is bed ridden. The wife is unable to take care of his basic needs as she is physically smaller than the husband. The wife is hires a home care worker. However, home care workers one and two do not work out. One is possibly stealing and may be a thief. The second is personality poison for the wife and the sick man. They are unhappy having her in their home as she is so negative about everything. Both home care workers have been let go.
Home care worker number three is hired. She is about thirty years old, attractive, but not overly so, well endowed on top, and typically wears low top clothing. The husband if he wishes can gaze down her top at least once daily as she goes about her home care duties of tending to him. These duties include bathing the husband.
The wife becomes uncomfortable with the way health care worker three acts around the sick husband. She leans over too much in the wife’s opinion, showing both her well endowed breasts and her (shapely per the wife) bottom. The sick husband claims ignorance.
As a matter of what appears to be coincidence, with home care worker number three on the scene, the husband is either having a remission or is recovering from some of his afflictions. His tests are improved, and his cancer appears to be in remission.
The husband is no longer confined to the bed, and can walk, albeit slowly following the walls. The wife decides the home care worker and her husbands relationship is a little too intimate, and she tells home care worker number three her services are no longer required. The wife admits she is jealous of the relationship, and is worried the thirty something year old home care worker is after her husband.
This was the setting of the discussion.
I felt the wife needs help of a therapist. If it were my spouse who was that sick and a male home care worker was a person who liked to touch (appropriately), shows off his muscles, makes a fuss over my wife, and does a good job of taking care of her, it is all fine with me.
If I were in this situation, and the attention apparently made my wife feel better, I am all for it. I can not imagine in my wildest dreams a healthy thirty year old having any romantic interest in an old woman. I certainly can not imagine my wife being taken in by the attentions of a male health care worker half her age.
I might even chip in an extra tip now and then to show my appreciation. I would want my wife to spend her last months as happy as possible, and if a little harmless flirting was involved, I would be okay with it.
I was a minority opinion.The opinion was divided four ways. With my apparently overly liberal views, to standing up for the wife firing the overly friendly health care worker.
Do you care to share your thoughts or experiences? What would you do?