It is the beginning of another new year, and you may be compiling your list of changes you want to make in your life? It is not such an easy thing. You can create several lists full of good changes. You can take the best from each of your lists and make a master list. Or you can do a seat of the pants list and write down the first ideas you think of.
Most of our resolution lists have to do with events external to us. Lose weight and exercise more. Stop doing something, and learn something else. Find a way to get ahead in our job, or maybe even find a new job. Get some training or classes that will help us in the future.
List after list or possibility after possibility flow through our thoughts. Somewhere along the line the ghosts of past lists make themselves known. We remember the things form New Years past we were sure we were going to do. Somehow they all slipped away into the ether with other good intentions.
The reason these lists of changes we create and rarely stick to is simple. The changes we create usually have nothing to do with us. They have more to do with people around us. This is why most resolutions do not come to pass.
It is okay to have that pie in the sky resolution. I have a few, and I think everyone should have at least one. Writing down a list of unrealistic goals however, is an exercise in futile list making. When you compile or recompile your list of resolutions, ensure they are worthwhile resolutions.
Here is a general list of worthwhile resolutions followed by what they could mean for you:
1. I want to be truthful to me.
2. I want to understand what I really believe in, and know for certain why I believe it.
3. I want to eat more of the foods I really enjoy.
4. I want more time for me.
5. I want to make a difference.
6. I want to get ahead.
1. As funny as it sounds, most of us lie to ourselves. We ignore things about ourselves we would rather not think about. We often do things we deep down do not want to do. We find ourselves doing more of the things others expect us to do. When was the last time you checked to see if you are truthful with yourself?
2. What do you really believe and why do you believe it? Do you believe what you do because your parents raised you to believe this way? This is how most of us learn our beliefs. When push comes to shove what you think you believe can start to feel pretty hollow when things get tough, and they will. Especially if your beliefs are what you were taught to believe and you never questioned them. Whatever your belief system is, it will always feel a little artificial until you dissect it, rebuild it and make it your own. This means it may not end up being what you started with.
3. I am going to read about different foods I want to try and find simple ways to make them. Eating better does not mean giving up foods you really like. There are more ways to enjoy cheese than on a slice of pizza for example. There are literally hundreds of foods at your local grocer, that you have never tried, why not? Are you eating the same blah meals out of habit, such as a burger, fries and a coke. Does it really taste good or are you simply go through the motions of eating?
4. I am going to change those things I can change. I am going to look at my life and see where I am wasting my time doing things I prefer not to be do. How many hours a week are lost doing things you would rather not be doing? Recover this lost time and do activities you want to do.
5. Think about what you can do that makes you feel good. Giving up some of your money to a homeless person or charity does not feel as rewarding as volunteering at a community center, teaching others something you love to do. Giving change to homeless panhandler doesn’t feel good, nor does it change anything,
6. What does my life mean to me? What do I really want out of my life? Am I hurrying around filling my time on things that really don’t matter to me, or am I doing things which add substance to my life? Cooking a meal, reading an interesting book, spending quality time with a friend all make your life have real meaning. Living on social media, liking posts and comments really adds nothing to your life.
Becoming a better conversationalist like Jo Ann or Art, will only frustrate you unless you really like people. Losing weight because everyone else is trying to lose weight is a losing battle. Exercising more is not going to make you happier. Make your list of resolutions about you to make them your resolutions. Look deep into yourself, and make changes in your life that are really meaningful to you.
Your life is yours to live as you wish. You are the captain of your ship. Do not live to please other people unless this is something you enjoy doing. There are enough people pleasers in the world already. The world needs the real you, not a cheap copy of parts of other people, there are enough of those types of people already. Don’t be a ‘Me Too’. This year, learn to be yourself.