Hurting Yourself More Doesn’t Make it Better

I feel sad for certain people. They never had a chance to start out pain free. I wish I could reach into them and pull out their pain and hurt. It hurts to see people who have a need to go out of their way to make themselves an even  bigger target. Certain aspects of our personality are readily apparent. They do not need a sign to announce their self destructive behavior.

Sometimes as a result of prolonged pain and feelings of separation, a shattered ego runs their life so well the rest of the world and the people in it become fictitious. They learn to act in any manner they choose, because people and things are only around for their pleasure, to do with what they please. People and things become unreal, only they exist in their carefully crafted world.

It must really hurt to tell the world this about yourself

It must really hurt to tell the world this about yourself

If you can see yourself driving this car, please wake up. Do you have anyone in your life who is a real person and an honest friend? Is there anyone who wants to share their life with you? Anyone who is willing to trust you with their life? Are your parents and siblings proud of you and what you have become? Is there anyone who loves and  trusts you enough to marry you and have children with you?

I hope when the wake up moment comes for this young Woman, it comes with a whisper, and not a thunderbolt. I am afraid there have been too many thunderbolts already in this young Woman’s life. Let’s hope she regains her real life back before too much more pain, isolation and self destruction.

All this and more

Something to ponder, whether you are a devout Christian or not. I was out walking the other day. Enjoying a beautiful morning walk in the sun. It was almost warm enough for shorts and a tee-shirt though the breeze was cool.

Birds were singing their songs and the breeze was softening people noises. My mind was wandering on the topics our minds are want to wander to in moments like this.

I stopped here, looking at this pond and the mountains behind. The pond itself isn’t really a lot to see by pond standards. Here in the desert however, it is magical. Songbirds, ducks, crows and other small animals, mostly rabbits, are seen around the pond from time to time.

Now that I paused and pondered, I wanted to take a picture of the scene. I thought it was a scene worthy of a picture on such a wonderful morning.

Framing the picture, I said silently inside my head, “Do you see this Jesus?”

A familiar voice replied inside my head, “I am all this”

Desert pond

Should we listen to the voices?

Playing Games in the Neighborhood

I picked these up at a local second hand store. They are a mismatch of course, racquet ball rackets and tennis balls. They didn’t cost a lot, less than $9.00 total. The neighborhood Kids could play with them in the street, or so I thought.

Cheap fun for the Kids in the neighborhood

Cheap fun for the Kids in the neighborhood

I forgot within (far) walking distance there is a tennis court. The rackets and tennis balls got some pretty heavy use during spring break I was told. The Kids were at the tennis courts playing next to people who take their tennis a lot more seriously.

About week and a half later I found two tennis rackets for less than $9.00. Now the Kids are on their way to becoming tennis pro’s! I figure for less than $20.00 which isn’t a lot of money these days, the neighborhood Kids are having weeks worth of fun.

A lot of fun can be had for a little money if you are creative. It was worth every cent to give the neighborhood Kids weeks worth of something fun to do.

Being a little generous with the kids in your neighborhood can have big returns. The kids have something fun to take up their time, and you may get your yard cleaned or car washed for free!

Fish, Fresh and Otherwise

I used to love eating fish. Growing up with lakes and streams everywhere it was easy to have fresh fish quite often. Times change, and fish, fresh or otherwise is the favorite dish  for someone else. I still enjoy a dinner of fresh fish, but like my Cats, I have become more picky about my choices.

This fish a fresh caught Rainbow Trout. The Trout was cleaned and coated with a mix of flour, salt, and pepper. Slow fried in a cast iron pan with enough oil to cover the bottom quarter inch of the pan. Cooked a few minutes on each side. Served with creamed corn and potatoes, pan fried Trout makes for an excellent meal. When I’m not feeling lazy I like to add a small amount of chopped onion.

Fresh caught, and freshly eaten, one of the finer meals if one lives near fishing waters

Fresh caught, and freshly eaten, one of the finer meals if one lives near fishing waters

The tail if you are interested used to be my favorite part. My folks didn’t have money to waste on snacks, so a fried fish tail was the next best thing to a potato chip. Try it, you may like it too!

I have two friends who prefer the head of their fish dinner over the rest of the fish. That’s not for me, but they insist the head and eyes are the best part of any fish. It is funny to go out to a nice restaurant and watch them order whatever whole fish is available. Once their meal arrives, they start on the fish head while the rest of the fish sits on their plate getting cold.

I have a small ceramic Carp on the shelf above me. The little Carp is a little over two inches long, and light blue, fading to white. It was once part of a set of rests for chopsticks. When I found the little ceramic Carp it was alone. I have a second carved Carp, about five inches tall made of soapstone I think. Carp is my favorite fish to catch. If you wander over to my other blog, venagozar.com, I have more than a few posts about Carp and Carp fishing.

My Cat’s thought fish was a wonderful meal, so I would bring home a small Carp for them to eat. Fussy Cat’s who lived indoors for too long, they preferred their fish steamed with a little salt and butter.

 

Some Things are Just Unknowable

When I go through my drawers in search of something I know I have, but can’t find, what I find instead has some identifiable of purpose.

The item in the picture is about nine inches tall. It has six stick legs. Those are in-line roller skates on its feet. I am sure there was more to this, when it was brand new.

My question is, who is going to buy this unless they happen to have the top half of whatever it is? This item can probably only be identified by two people, the maker, and the buyer.

This item can probably only be identified by two people, the maker, and the buyer.

This item can probably only be identified by two people, the maker, and the buyer.

Creative genius, or lost in space, it resembles nothing I have seen before.

Once a Clown

I do not particularly enjoy clowns close up. I did enjoy Watching Clowns and their act at the Circus as a child. When I was about eleven, I won tickets to “Bozo the Clown” show. Before the show even started Bozo complained to the producer, he thought I was too old to be on the show. Did this experience give me Clown bias?

As the show was live, Bozo was funny and very clownish. As soon as the recording stopped Bozo was not as funny or fun. That was about the last time I wanted to be around Clowns. In their defense I have met a few very nice people no matter they are in their clown costume or not.

I came across this Clown figure at a second hand store recently. I am surprised someone actually bought this Clown bust new. When I look at the bust, it looks more like the clown from Stephan King’s movie, “It”, than it did a playful fun clown. I expect it to start smiling with fangs and blood in its mouth. Is that the attraction?

Funny or viscious Clown?

Once a Clown always a Clown?

Maybe that is what people like about clowns. Perhaps some people wonder if another John Wayne Gacy, Jr is hiding behind the clown paint. I do not think I am alone in my thoughts about clowns. Many children are scared of clowns, and I think this fear follows many children into their adult life.

I suppose Clown are what they are. Maybe it our misunderstanding of what makes someone want to dress up in funny clothes, paint their faces, put on a funny nose, and have over sized hands and feet that is at issue. Maybe the Clowns have it all figured out and laugh at us, as we laugh at them?

Cold Hard Cash, er, Dough

Bread dough is a great trout bait in the right place and the right time of year. Of course other baits work better other times and places too.

I went trout fishing about a month ago. This was one of those times and places where bread dough was not the killer bait of the day. In fact I never even opened the can of doughy muffins.

After catching and cleaning four trout, and driving home, I put my fishing backpack away, not remembering I had a can of refrigerated dough still in my backpack. I found the dough today as I was putting away some hooks I purchased in my fishing backpack.

If you were ever curious, this is what canned dough looks like a month after it pops the can open, this is it. A bone colored hard as rock, looking like an odd piece of wood popping out of a can.  With humidity averaging below twenty percent, dry air made the dough hard enough to use as a hammer. Doesn’t smell like the muffins would have been very good cooked either,

Cold Hard Cash

Forgotten Refrigerated Dough, a Month Later

On the bright side there was no mess. A word to the wise…When putting your toys away when tired,  take a few seconds to think if there is anything needing to be taken out first.

Simple hacks for life with Parkinson’s – Mileha Soneji

If you know anyone with Parkinsons Disease this may be the most important TED Video of recent time. The video contains two neat tricks Mileha Soneji found to help a family member manage two simple tasks, drinking coffee or tea, and walking across the room.

Attached is a screen shot from the middle of the video. What you see will be amazing, and priceless for anyone you know with Parkinson Disease. The screen shot makes little sense, but it will once the video you will see Mileha Soneji is brilliant.

 https://www.ted.com/talks/mileha_soneji_simple_hacks_for_life_with_parkinson_s#t-348614


https://www.ted.com/talks/mileha_soneji_simple_hacks_for_life_with_parkinson_s#t-348614

Here is an embedded link to the video.

Filmed February 2015 at TEDxDelft

Mileha Soneji: Simple hacks for life with Parkinson’s

https://www.ted.com/talks/mileha_soneji_simple_hacks_for_life_with_parkinson_s#t-348614

Police Shootings in Albuquerque Critique

You may have heard the numbers Police Shootings in Albuquerque, New Mexico are some of, if not the the highest in the nation. It seems this notoriety brings criminal from all over who want to shoot it out with Police.

How many authors are there?

How many authors are there?

This was pulled off a bathroom wall in Albuquerque. I thought this is funny. I don’t know any Police Officers who openly support criminals.

Did the author really use two pens to write their message?

Maybe there is the original Author and a Ghost Writer(s) who turned it into humor?

Serial Dream Continues, Be active in your Dreams

This is a continuation of my previous serial dream post with a little help for you if you want help with your dreams. I have mentioned this in other posts, but it bears repeating. You can control some of your dreams. Not all dreams but some. The downside is, it takes time and practice to learn how to control some of your dreams.

As you go to sleep, tell yourself that you want to be aware of your dreams. Some people remember dreams upon waking, I was not one of these people. Telling yourself every time you go to sleep to remember your dream helps you remember your dream upon waking.

As you reflect on your latest dream, take a few moments to think about your dream. Generally, in most dreams, you are one of two of you in your dream. You are either the active one or the one watching. Try to determine which of you you are remembering the dream through, the actor or the watcher.

When you can identify which of you, you are in your dream, you are halfway there. Now when you are the actor in your dream and not the watcher, try to do something simple. I have mentioned before trying to look at your hand is a good start.

If you really want to learn this, it may take some time. It took me months before I was able to look at my hand in a dream. Do not be discouraged by any the amount of time it takes. You have your lifetime to practice. Eventually you will wake and surprise yourself because you changed the course of a dream!

Which Door in your dream?

Learn active dreaming where you take charge of your dream

Now on to my serial dream. I was there again in my dream last night. It seems I am there more than I remember dreaming about, as I have been assigned a job in my dream last night.

I am curious if this dream line will continue, and I will have to work in this dream or will it fade away to be replaced by other dreams? Sometimes my repeating dreams continue to some end point, and other times they fade away into memory. I always wish I knew where they were going, so I would know whether to invest energy in the dream or simply enjoy it for what it is.

When I was a teen, I had many repeat dreams. These dreams felt like someone was hitting replay each night. Night after night. My dream would have no ending, only a repeat of the night before. This has happened only a few times as an adult. Now as in this dream, each dream is a new chapter of a long dream.

If you try to remember your dreams, you may find some pattern or repeats in your dreams too. Sometimes you will find your dreams help you, other times they seem to serve some other purpose. Enjoy your dreams either way. They are important.