I have always been in awe how a very few people who have said a prayer (or more) for me, how I feel and know their prayer given freely for me, land softly on my shoulders. I physically feel their prayer land on me. It is a warming comfortable, slightly excited feeling, wrapped in love, and quiet happiness. There is always a signature of who has created and sent me the prayer. I know immediately who is responsible for the prayer I am enjoying. I do not know the why of the prayer, only that a prayer was said for me.
For these prayers I am forever grateful, and I hope deserving of the prayer one of these fine people took the time to craft and recite for me. For those few people who’s prayers really have punch, I feel as if they should use their prayer for something more important. Yet, sometimes I think I would learn to crave those feelings of prayer arriving as much as a junkie needs the next fix.
I find it difficult to be grateful and be not self centered at the same time on those rare occasions these prayers arrive. Perhaps I will learn how to be grateful without being self centered when it comes receiving one’s prayer said for me. The problem is these prayers make me feel like I am a young child, and it is my birthday. Someone has given me a wonderful and unexpected gift that is perfect. It is a unique, one of a kind gift that makes me feel so warm inside and so very special.
I find it hard to come up with the same special prayer for others. For one thing, and maybe the foremost reason is what happens to us is exactly what is to happen to us. Nothing more and nothing less. We are the masters of our own ship, and we started the voyage before we were born to our life.
I find it hard to create a prayer that is not selfish or self centered. Many prayers, whether they are prayers we learned as children, or prayers we created along the way; almost all of our prayers are selfish prayers. I find it very hard to create a prayer and send it out that is not in some way self centered and selfish. A good prayer is a very difficult if not impossible for me to come up with.
Saying a prayer that does not have me in it, hiding behind the thoughts, words and feelings. Most of our prayers follow the lines of: “Please make something happen.” With a spoken or unspoken, “…because it is either what I want to happen, or it will be painful to me if it does not happen.” These types of prayers fall to the ground as soon as they are spoken.
My fear to creating a prayer I want to say and send of may interfere with what is to meant to be. My meddling via prayer may change something. It may be best that something does not change and everything encompassing the situation I wish to pray about is better left exactly how it is, because it is perfect as it is, even though from my selfish perspective, it does not feel that way.
I do pray, if you have not yet, that soon you will feel someone’s prayer land softly on you. I want it to land softly, so subtle you almost miss it. I want you to feel the warmth and love the prayer is wrapped in. I pray it sits upon you, and you feel all it contains. That you know who it comes from, and how rare it is for this to happen, and how special you are to receive the prayer. I pray it happens to you again, and again and becomes a part of your life.
One small prayer, crafted with care, and sent into the heavens with no trace of selfishness, and wrapped in goodness, and yearning for perfection. That is the prayer I pray for you.